


Ease My Mind

by eightbitbat



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Mentioned HR Wells, Post-Invasion! Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Snowells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:25:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9418682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightbitbat/pseuds/eightbitbat
Summary: Once Cisco created a way to call other dimensions, Caitlin knew she needed to make a phone call.





	

Caitlin waited until it was late and the Cortex was clear before she dared attempt it.  She had to wait longer than expected for HR to come down off his last coffee and head to bed.  She didn’t know if he was using Harry’s old rooms or not.  She hoped not, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him and find out for sure.   

It wasn’t too long ago that Caitlin would wait until the others left to try to steal a few moments with Harry.  They hadn’t had much time together, but what they did have was memorable.  A wave of warmth swept through her as she recalled one such night, in Harry’s room, fucking on that ridiculously small bed of his.  She could recall the feel of his bare skin under her palms, the feel of his sweat-damp hair as she ran her fingers up into it.  The feel of Harry’s hands on her hips, gripping them tight as he moved her up and down, fingertips leaving faint marks on her skin for days afterward.  

Caitlin shook her head to clear it and focused on her task.  No one had used the interdimensional comm device Cisco had built yet.  She had worked with enough of Cisco’s programs to be able to figure out the navigation.  It was currently set to Earth-38, where Kara was.  Caitlin figured Cisco would have made it simple enough to change between Earths, and she was right.  With a few clicks she set it to Earth-2.  She should be able to call out through the wireless network to reach him.

It rang for long enough to worry her that she’d have to leave a interdimensional voicemail, but then there it was, his voice on the other end. 

“Hello?” 

The simple sound of his voice, even saying a basic greeting, felt like letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.  Even if the voice that came out of HR was technically the same, no one could pack that much brusqueness into a simple _hello_ as Harry.

“Harry?  It’s me.”

“Caitlin?”

“Yes!”

“Wait, Earth-1 Caitlin, my Caitlin?  How are you calling?  Are you on Earth-2?”  The hope in his voice was gratifying, if saddening because she couldn’t tell him she was.

“No, Harry, Cisco figured out a way for us to call out across dimensions.  Mainly in case Supergirl needed us, or vice versa, and I figured I could use it to call Earth-2, as well.  I’m glad it worked.”

“I am, too.  Wait, Supergirl?  What’s a Supergirl?”

“Yeah, Supergirl.  She’s an alien from Earth-38.  Barry brought her here to help us fight these other aliens that invaded, but they’re gone now, and she went back home.”

“Aliens, huh?  I guess I’ve missed a lot.” 

Caitlin laughed.  “A bit, yeah.”

“How’s HR?  Is he working out as a good replacement me?” 

Caitlin knew he couldn’t see it, but she scrunched up her face at that.  “There’s no replacement for you, Harry.  You know that.  As far as HR...well, that’s a long story.  Useful in his own way, I suppose, but nothing like you.” 

“Oh, really?” 

She couldn’t quite interpret that note in his voice.  She wished she could see his face, too.  Caitlin realized that, knowing Cisco, there probably was a way. 

“Hm, let me see something,” she said, as she clicked through a few options in the program until she found what she was looking for - a way to activate the webcam.  “Harry, look at your phone.” 

The video link worked, and she could see him there, squinting at his phone screen.  She had missed his face.  It was so good to see it again, guarded until he saw the video stream of her, then his quiet smile appeared, the one that crinkled the corners of his eyes. 

She felt like she was grinning like a fool.  “Hi.”

It didn’t matter, because then he was, too.  “Hi yourself.” 

Now that she not only had him on the line but could see him, words deserted her.  “It looks late there, did I wake you?”

“Nah.  I was making some modifications to Jesse’s suit.” 

“Living dangerously, I see.  Cisco would have a fit if he found out.” 

Harry raised an eyebrow at her.  “Well, I won’t tell if you won’t.” 

“Deal.  How is Jesse?” 

“She’s good.  Making me prouder every day.  Now, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“What makes you think something is wrong?”

“Caitlin.  You did not call me through dimensions just to say hello.” 

“I might have…”

“But you didn’t.  You also have that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The ‘world’s-ending’ look.  So.  What’s up?”

Caitlin sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes.  “I just wanted to see a friendly face.”

Harry frowned.  “Is there something wrong with all of the friendly faces that normally surround you?”

“It’s...complicated.”

He pinned her with that intense stare of his, which wasn’t at all dimmed by the fact that he was on her monitor and in another dimension.  It was too much to keep eye contact with him, and she looked away.

“Tell me.”  He didn’t sound demanding; if anything he sounded gentler than she’d ever heard him.  Looking back, his intense stare was now full of only concern, and somehow that was even harder to look at.

“I once promised Cisco that she would never exist on this Earth…”

“Your powers manifested?”

Caitlin looked up at him in alarm.  “How did you know?”

Only Harry could manage to look both concerned and sarcastic.  “Caitlin, please.  I’m a fairly smart guy, some might say.  You call me, across dimensions, clearly upset, but you don’t want to talk about why.  When I was there last, you admitted there was something you didn’t want to tell me.  Let’s not forget about Barry, freed from that mirror, which would have taken far more cold than Cisco and I were able to produce.  I’m assuming you being a metahuman is another of Barry’s Flashpoint gifts?”

Caitlin nodded.  She could feel the tears forming and blinked rapidly to keep them from spilling.  “I was so terrible to them, Harry.  I didn’t know I was capable of that.” 

“Was anyone hurt?” 

“Physically?  Barry, a bit.  I may have stabbed him a little.  Nothing he couldn’t heal.  I may have also sort of kidnapped one of his coworkers…” 

“Sort of?” 

“Well, no, I did kidnap him.  I needed his help.  I needed him to get me to Prometheus, someone who I might have been able to get to take my powers away.” 

“Did it work?” 

She shook her head.  “No, it was all a mess.  I ended up in the pipeline and...said a lot of things.  Things I can’t take back.” 

“Caitlin, we’ve all been there…” 

“I didn’t even know I had such things inside me, waiting to come out.  So much resentment…” 

“Caitlin…” Harry switched the phone to his other hand, scrubbing the now-free hand through his hair.  “Caitlin, you are an amazing and intelligent woman, and you are kind and compassionate on a level rare even amongst truly good people.  You’re also human.  You’ve suffered a lot these last few years, with Ronnie’s death and with all that happened with Zoom, and that will breed darkness in anyone.”

“That’s what Zoom kept saying.  That I had a darkness inside, and I just needed to embrace it.   Telling him I had is what I used when we went up against him.  I didn’t think he was right…”

“No.  He wasn’t.  He was projecting too much of himself onto you.  Having darkness, having been through hard times, does not make you evil.  It would not make _you_ evil.  How did you snap out of it?  Come back to yourself?  You clearly have some sort of handle on it now." 

“Barry talked me down, but I’m worried, so worried that it’s only temporary.  That _she_ is still there, waiting to come out, and that this time I won’t find my way back.”

“Caitlin, Barry was only able to talk you back because you wanted to come back.  Because that’s not who _you_ are.  Letting the darkness surface doesn’t change the fact that you are fundamentally kind.”

An errant tear streaked its way down her cheek.  She vigorously rubbed it away and sniffed.

“I know it doesn’t.  Logically, I do.  It’s just...really scary.  I’m not sure she plays in the logic sandbox too often.”  She fidgeted with the power-dampening cuff around her wrist.  “For now, I hope these guys do their job,” she said, shaking her wrist by the camera.

“Handcuffs?”  His eyebrow quirked in an interested sort of way.

“Oh my _God_!”

“What?”

“Yet another example of how alike doppelgängers can be.” 

Harry’s eyes widened and she could see him go from confused to enlightened to somewhat horrified.  “Do I even want to know how you know that?” 

“It’s was nothing.  Let’s just say that HR is definitely more of a sharer than you are.”

“Are kinks the only thing he’s sharing?”

“Harry!” she said, rolling her eyes at him, but he was grinning at her again.  “Anyway, cuffs.  Not handcuffs.  Cisco’s power-dampening cuffs.”

“So you’re not using your powers at all?”

“No.  I’m too worried that _she_ will get loose again.”

Harry took off his glasses and rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand.  “Well, wishing it away is one way to go about it…”

“Harry...”

“What did you expect me to say?  You know, a smart woman once said something to me about helping people navigate their powers, and something about not assuming they would destroy someone.  It was pretty sound advice.”

She opened her mouth to reply but couldn’t think of anything.  It was hard to argue with him when he used her own words against her.  She had been _so angry_ with him that day, when he had tried to get her to talk Jesse out of using her powers, when she was still struggling with the sudden appearance of her own.  

He stared at her, concerned but implacable.  She slowly took the cuffs off and held up her hand, opening herself up to that part she had been ignoring, letting herself feel the cold just the slightest bit.  The tiniest ice crystals formed lightly on her hand, cold enough for vapors to stream off it.

“It’s beautiful.”

Caitlin had thought of it that way, but hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself.  “Yeah, it is.”  She stopped the cold, but continued to look at her hand.  “I don’t know if I can control these powers, or the darkness, but I know I do need to try.  At the very least, I have to keep myself from hurting everyone close to me again.”

“I’m sure you can do anything you put your mind to, Caitlin.”

“You met Killer Frost.  You know what she was like.  How can you be so sure?”

“Hey.  I don’t care what she was like, she wasn’t you.  And you weren’t there when she held off Zoom so we could get away.  There was good in her, somewhere, even if it was fickle.  You, though, my faith in you is unshakable.  I know I’m not the only one that has it.” 

“No, you’re not.  It’s just difficult.  I know these things, all of them.  I tell myself them.  Barry has said them and Cisco has said them, and even Dr. Stein has said them.  I don’t know that it makes it any less frightening.”  Her eyes were starting to spill over again.  She wiped her eyes and laughed, mostly at herself.  “Ok, that’s enough of that.  Thanks, Harry.  I know I didn’t need to hear this from you, too - but it does make me feel better.  I appreciate it.”

“Anything you need, anytime.  You know that, right?”

She smiled.  “I do.”  She wished that he was here in this room with her now, instead of a dimension away.  

“Are you going to tell the others you called?”

“Yeah, I think so.  I think they’ll understand if I say I needed a bit of your kind of moral support.  Better that than having Cisco vibe it, or freak out that someone was using his system.”

“Probably.  Since you’re telling them, see if Cisco can’t set up a data connection.  That way I can send him my changes to Jesse’s suit and live a little less dangerously.”

Caitlin grinned at that. “I will.”  It being easier to communicate with him made the lack of his physical presence even keener.  “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“You know, you and Jesse are always welcome to come and visit…”

Harry smiled.  “I know, and it’s tempting.  We’ll see what happens.”

“Well, until then, I had a thought…”

“Which was?”

“That I could see about getting this link set up, but in a more private place…” she trailed off, but from the leer he was giving her, he clearly got the gist. 

“You do have my number.  Like I said, anything…” 

Caitlin placed her fingers on the monitor, not that anything could replicate the feeling of touching his face.  “Until next time, Harry.”

“Until next time.”

**Author's Note:**

> This ramble brought to you by the song ["Call me, Call me", by Steve Conte](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPbBhvv6GI8), from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack & my Snowells playlist.


End file.
